I needed to pee. I needed to vomit. I needed to purge.  I head towards the toilet and the fucking door is locked.  I bang on the door, yelling, "I need exorcised, I need in now!" So the Dude and the blonde open the door and come out. "Sorry, man", the Dude says.  The bathroom wreaks of many a foul smell, but I ain't blaming the Dude or his girl.  It always smells that way. I brush against the Russian as I rush past.  My left shoulder cops a feel on her left breast as I squeeze by. As I turn to close the door. I notice a firm protruding nipple under her too tight tube top. She gives me a sly little half way grin.  I make a mental note to do something about that later. I puke in the sink, rub my sleeve across my mouth, and proceed to the toilet.

When I come out I see that Mamma has left.  George has just fired up another bowl. Lebowski and la blonde are playing footsies on the couch.  So I turn to George and say, "What about beaver? Can I use beaver on television?" Carlin nods his approval as he inhales deeply. I say, "What about split beaver?" Carlin bursts and a huge cloud of smoke darkens the room. He says, "I'm not sure there, you're cutting a fine line."  Well, the line may be fine or it may be jagged, it's what's inside and getting in that counts.

The Dude has got his hands under the tube top and I'm getting hot watching.  Tanya, the leggy one next to me wakes up and notices the action too.  I take a sip off my malt liquor and get a mouthful of ash instead.  Crushed cans lie all over the coffee table and floor. I look over at George with big watery puppy eyes.  George gets the hint and volunteers to make a run.  I give him enough dough for a bottle of vodka and a 2 gallon jug of wine.  That ought to do us until the late afternoon reinforcements arrive.

The Dude's hands have moved lower now, so I say to him, "Why don't you two get a room or something?" and I throw a glance towards the bedroom door. The Dude looks up and says, "Oh, right man, far out" and he and Miss Leningrad head off in that direction.  I turn my attention to Tanya. She immediately leaps on me, mouth to mouth, breast to chest, I fall back on the couch arms a flaying. Hail Mikhael Sergeyevich Gorbachev, hail detente, hail the end of the cold war.

So we're on the couch, we still got most of our clothes on, and we're doing the pelvic thrust or the time warp or something.  My head is pretty foggy at this time, too much booze and too little sleep.  Tanya had her little nap and she is all fired up.  She keeps saying, "Oh Boris, Boris, hurt me daddy".  I do admit that I faintly resemble Boris Karloff, so I don't pay it no mind. I reach into her panties and feel that sweet honey of life, so I say, "let's get off this couch so we can have room to play."

We make to the bedroom. We enter, fuck, I forgot the bedroom is occupied.  Tanya is sitting on the bed, smoking a cigarette, knees up, naked.  On the floor I see a sock and a foot behind the bed.  Isaac Hayes is playing softly on the boom box. The Dude is passed out on the carpet.  We shed our clothes and jump into bed.   Sasha, Miss. Leningrad, smiles.  I'm like a kid in a candy shop kissing one and licking the nipples of the other.  One of them starts sucking my sour balls and I dive in for a taste of some of that Good and Plenty.  Bells are ringing.  All of this is a hazy blur, but somehow we get into a mouth to genital triangle. Tanya's clit is swollen purple and I do all my regular tricks and licks. Tanya must be working Sasha good cause she is squirming around and keeps loosing contact with my semi-stiff woody.  I do my best when I'm plastered, but sometimes…. well let's leave at that. 

The Dude had already got Sasha's motor running and she came quickly. I rolled onto my back and Sasha not wanting to disappoint mounted me and slid me in.  Tanya looking for some deeper nose action sat on my face and started to wiggle. I took a deep breath and worked the clit with my nose as I thrust my tongue in and out. As the juices of our copulation ran down the sides of my face and into my ears I felt my cock getting harder and harder.  Tanya was humping and groaning, Sasha was humping and moaning, and I was finding it impossible to hold back anymore.  I shot, Tanya screamed in ecstasy, and Sasha had her second coming. Oh, my God.

We lay on the damp sheets unable to move. We stayed like that holding each other's hands and caught our breath. Puke if you like, but heck I'm a romantic.  All of a sudden I hear a thumping, a thumping coming from the closet.  I grab a baseball bat and go to the closet.  In the closet sitting on the floor is Waites.  Tom is in his boxer shorts and socks, the ones with little horseshoes on them, the shorts not the socks.  Guess he thinks he'll get lucky someday.   His feet are tied with duct tape and so are his wrists.  Although his hands are bound, his ugly dong is sticking out of the hole in his underwear and he's got a firm grip.  He's in there trying to spank his monkey. I said "Damn, Waites, I thought I smelled that cheap cologne of yours in the room earlier." He gives me a side ways grin as I slam the door.  Now, that's another story.

8/11 >