95 degrees in the shade
by John DAgostino, Eccentric Outsider Artist, a.k.a. The John Dog

I woke up this morning very cold.  So cold that I didn't want to move.  I didn't dare reach to grab the blanket next to me or turn off the fan blowing cool air across me.  I felt I might crack. That my arms would break off. So I lay there and let my body sink into it.  I was amazingly relaxed though. Normally, I tense up in the cold.  This time I didn't fight it. My muscles were calm, my breathing and heart beat were calm, and my head was calm.

Time slowed.

I lay there in the cold and felt it caressing my body.  Totally at ease, I never felt this peaceful.  I was almost asleep.  I think that I was near hibernation mode, expending little energy.  I floated.  I did not feel the weight of my body anymore.  I could tilt my chin forward and see my naked body stretched out on my bed and my long legs suspended above my torso. 

Time slowed.

Dawn had already broke and it was light.  I think that if it was night then maybe I could see the covering of cream colored energy glowing in the dark that enveloped my being.  I felt it all over, even between my fingers and toes.  I lay there and bathed in these pleasurably sensations.  I wanted to stay there. I wanted to live in that moment, those moments forever.  I felt my body relaxing more.  The memories of that morning are with me now as I write.  They are in my head and in my heart, in my lungs, and in my stomach.  Writing is harder now.  Just recalling the feelings have triggered a reaction.  I pause, the feeling is flowing through my veins now and into my arms and legs.  I need coffee or I won't be able to finish this.  I am struggling not to lay back down in bed.  I sip what's left in my cup and continue.

Time is slowing.

I need to tell you beware or not to beware, but at least know what could happen if you go to this place of serenity that I have discovered.  As you calm yourself more and more and you feel the glow all around you be aware of your bodily functions.  At one point I sensed that I might fall asleep.  But I also noticed that I wasn't breathing.  I wasn't taking in any oxygen.  My lungs were numbed. I concentrated and somehow forced myself to inhale one shallow breath of air. 

Slack Tide

Still I drifted on this wonderful cloud.  Euphoria is what I believe I was feeling.  I was sailing throw a euphoric sea of peaceful bliss.  I realized that I wasn't breathing again.  I focused and managed another breath.  It bothered me to have to think about this.  I didn't want any thoughts in my brain to distract from the sensations that I was so utterly enjoying.  I lay there motionless. I don't remember if I had my eyes open or not.  If they were open, I don't think they were seeing.  I couldn't tell you either if I was still in my room or not.

Time Stops

My spirit wandered.  I believe that I felt my soul.  I was conscious. I was unconscious. My body lay dormant,  it signaled a need for oxygen again, third time.  I thought about it and then took a breath.  I recognized the pattern now and realized that I had a choice to make.  I was going deeper and deeper into another state each time that I let myself relax, go with the flow.  It was a beautiful place.  It was heaven.  But I didn't want to sleep forever.  And I felt that I just might.

Time ticks

I decided to breath.  It wasn't such an easy endeavor.  I willed myself to take one breath after another.  The pauses between them became shorter and shorter.  My lungs filled with ever increasing amounts of air until I was breathing at a regular steady pace.  Something was aiding me with this task.  I was thinking.  My brain was working. More and more synapses were firing.  I was counting in my head.  I was recalling past events.  I translated words back and forth from English to French from French to Turkish.  I thought about writing you.  I thought about putting words on paper again.  I thought about the sound of your voice and the way we made each other laugh.  I thought about depth in your eyes and the warmth in your smile.  I thought about the moisture on your lips.  I came back.

Present time

Past Time

Some Time

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